real life & perspective

I want to be little, so that He can be big.
I want to be weak, so that His strength is obvious.
I want to be fearless, so that I will never get in the way of His plans.
I want to be reckless, so that He will get so much glory.
I wan to be obedient, so that He will know I am all in.
I want to speak truth and fight for love and never give up
even when it’s midnight and my heart is broken and no one is listening and He seems so quiet.

I don’t want to miss a thing. Because I believe this giant, secret, hidden, huge promise that He has greater things in store; that right now there is a plan that is being weaved through all of time and we get to be apart of it,
Do you know that Heaven is coming, and it’s a big deal?
Do you know that the Kingdom is alive INSIDE of you?
Do you know that you hold the ticket to revival? All you need to do is lay your heart down on the altar and let the Fire fall.

Oh, I don’t want to miss a thing.
I want to be so lost in His whispers and His promises and His sunsets that speak of the world to come.
I want my life, my love, my heart, to always be an expression of who He is.
I want the world to see that when I trip, He is quick to pick me up.
I want the world to know that when I slip, He is quick to forgive.
I want the world to understand that I will never be like them:
but I will always love them, I will always serve them, I will always give everything that I have to them.

Because that’s what He did for me.

These are my dreams:

to KNOW Him and make Him KNOWN.
to love broken teenage girls.
to love broken women.
to love broken children.
to love broken people.
to be an instrument of HIS healing, as He gives me His eyes to see sickness, physically, spiritually, and emotionally.
to teach the next generation (and my own) what it means to WORSHIP.
to worship in everything that I do.
to be holy.
to adopt children as I have been adopted by the King of Kings.
to be a light in a dark valley.
to shine forth the glory of the One who came and brought redemption.
to be a minister of reconciliation.
to love kids at youth group, even when they smell bad.
to pray through spiritual strongholds and impossible situations and scary sicknesses and new stories coming into being.

to always be less than He, and always be all in.

I was born for such a time as this, and my purpose was to die. So, for Him, I choose death;and in response I find glorious, breathtaking, heart racing life. 

"I love you"

It’s not just affection; It’s not just passion.

It’s authentic love. It’s the choice in every moment and opportunity, with every breath, with every exhale, to think of Him, and to choose to love Him. Not out of sense of duty, or because you have to. Because you love Him. Because He’s worthy. Because He’s good. Because, He is your first love, forever.

We can have a steady love for God that deepens and sometimes our feelings and circumstances try to ruin the sweetness of that. We can get caught up in life. Ministry, academics, relationships, dreams, etc.

Thankfully, God’s love is much stronger and more enduring than that, and He wants to reveal that truth more and more. He will not let us be jaded by the discouragements the enemy tries to use against us. He draws us back into the freshness of His presence.

Jesus wants our hearts. He loves us so much. The things we do in life and the people in it are important. But let us never abandon our first love. Or neglect to love others.

And sometimes we need a wake up call. Sometimes we need reminded of the sweetness of that first love.

“I know all the things you do. I have seen your hard work and patient endurance…But I have this complaint against you. You don’t love me or each other like you did at first! Look how far you have fallen from your first love! Turn back to me again.” - Revelation 2:2, 4-5

God is calling us unto Himself, to deeper intimacy, to live today with the passion of first love and that authentic, real, love that comes from our hearts, when we truly do love the Lord.

I think sometimes we just need to sit down and tell Him, “I love You, Lord. I love You.” When was the last time you did that? Just sat there with Him and told Him how much you love Him?

God wants our hearts. We may think it’s about working hard, or enduring, or have an idea of what He wants, but truly, what He desires is that we love Him with all we are, with our whole hearts, that we choose Him to be our first love, forever. That with everything, we say, “I love You.”

JUST A SIDE NOTE...

Today is my 6 year BIRTHday of when I truly experienced the Lord for the first time. He wrecked my life and I have never been the same. As I sit here this morning just thinking about His goodness, faithfulness, grace and mercy, I am overwhelmed by His love even more. On that day, he brought me from death to true life, joy and fulfillment in Him. I remember it like it was yesterday. Just like any person about to give up there life to another person, I was anxious, fearful and nervous about what the future held, but I can say that I don't regret for one minute the decision I made. Ever since that day my life has been an un-winding adventure, full of hope and glistening with love. Life is so much better with Him and I could not imagine living any other way. I am convinced and become more convinced everyday that He is my lover and Savior, I desire to waste my life on Him and the commission He has given me because that is the least I can do for Him in return for all He has done for me. If you don't know Christ and just happened upon this blog, please email me or comment and I would be more than happy to tell you of my journey and to introduce you to the person who truly gives life to anyone who asks. I've learned that you have to lose yourself to improve yourself. Only when we shed all self-definition do we find who we really are. I pray that you are blessed today. Live in the truth that He is for you and He loves you just because He loves you.

JUST BE STILL.

Sitting in the sunniest spot I could find this morning, 

I read these 2 verses over and over again.

        "Abide in me, and I in you. As the branch cannot bear fruit by itself, unless it abides in the vine, neither can you, unless you abide in me. I am the vine; you are the branches. Whoever abides in me and I in him, he it is that bears much fruit, for apart from me you can do nothing." John 15:4-5

Tears streamed down my cheeks as I read it...over and over and over again. My hand shook as I wrote in my journal, pouring out my heart to the Lord. 

Abide in Me. 

Sometimes we have to surrender things to Christ that we do not want to. Sometimes it is easy & freeing, other times it is the hardest thing we think we will ever have to go through. But John 15 reminds us that we must abide in Him at all times and sometimes that means surrendering the things that are keeping us from that constant and un-relenteless abiding that He calls us to. 

As I look back on my life, I've had to surrender a number of things (as all of you have). But even today, even while I'm walking in such a deep and violent love relationship with Him, I feel the Lord is still pressing that same truth into my heart: "ABIDE IN ME DAUGHTER." Through all of the changes, transitions, ups and downs, God has remained faithful. Not only is He the steady Rock on which I can lean on, but He's also faithfully working in me. For these past couple of years, I've questioned myself a lot on what it truly means to abide in Him and how can I do it most fruitfully? And lately, I'm finally realizing what He truly means when He commands us to do it.

Abide involves rest. It involves dwelling and staying. It includes being with Jesus - not so much doing. Doing flows out of our being. It comes after we fully rest in Jesus - after we know who we are in Him, and who He truly is. 

In the past, the Lord has shown me that I often put my identity in what I did, instead of who He said I was. Like me in the past, you might struggle with "performance identity". If you don't know me, I'll tell you that I'm a "get it done" type of person but I also enjoy organized chaos. But so often, I have found myself telling myself...do this, check that off, go do that, be busy & productive, go, go, go. I've truly experienced monumental growth with this area of my life in the past two years. But even in the last couple of weeks, the Lord is really bringing me to the place of full realization to what abiding is. Since I've been immersed in hard work but easy relaxation, His creation, true seeking and one of the most amazing communities I've ever been a part of...the Lord is beginning to reveal to me how much more I can abide in Him. A part of me has begun to crumble. I'm working this summer in a totally undistracted environment, without the busyness of city life and having the "American Dream"shoved down my throat by the world. I'm totally in a place to serve and disciple and it humbles me to the point of tears every morning when I wake up and realize  the place He has brought me to. I awake every morning with a surprise to what I will do and encounter that day. I might be doing something creative, or cleaning and refilling 400 amenity bottles, or rafting down the Klamath River or (my favorite) just simply getting to meet with the precious girls I get to disciple and just enjoy my sisters in Christ. But the beautiful thing about each of these random acts is that I don't have to prove myself in any of them. And that is totally freeing for a child of Christ. I don't have to do things perfectly or be anxious when I don't get all 297 things done that we have to do before guests arrive in 3 days. I can rest. I can be thankful. I can abide. God wants me to simply BE WITH HIM - present - with whatever I'm doing. To give thanks. To ask for help. To rejoice. To laugh. To pray. To trust. I'm learning to slow down. To say no to striving and anxiety. To be content and thankful when it's just me and Him. 

I learned very quickly that striving for perfection and finding my (or your) identity in performance, is not God's plan or His best. This isn't what He wants for us. Yes, He wants us to work hard. Yes, He wants us to be faithful and to serve. Yes, He wants us to use our gifts that He has given us. However, our value and identity are not found in the things we do. Our identity is found in who Jesus says we are - and He says we are His, loved, cherished, redeemed, set apart, His inheritance, His children. You don't work for your dad to have Him love you; He simply loves you because you are His child. And so it is with Jesus - He loves us simply because we are His, not because of what we do. God is after our heart and our relationship with Him, instead of what we do for Him. Yes, we are to obey Him and serve, but out of a heart that already knows and rests in who we are in Him - we serve out of love, not out of fear. 

There are different seasons for everything. For me, this is a season of hard work but simple rest as well. A season to go back to the basics, to remember that ultimately what matters is my relationship with Jesus - to go back to my first love. To not think of Him as my employer, but my King and Savior - my Friend and Salvation. To be with Him and to know that I can't do anything apart from Him. I don't need to prove myself, I just get to be with Him and let His love and light shine forth. He's been showing me this truth through all the changes these past years. Whatever season you find yourself in today, know that He is calling you to abide in Him. To come and rest with Him. To find your identity in Him and then do whatever He leads you to out of a heart that rests. You don't have to prove anything to Him. 

So, I encourage you today to stop being anxious and trying to strive to be at a certain place. 

Just be still and become captured by Him. 

I've learned first hand that when we are captured and captivated who Jesus is, 

we'll be empowered and equipped to resist the constant temptation to settle for anything less. 

We were all once foolish, disobedient, led astray, slaved to various passions and pleasures, passing our days in malice and envy, hated by others and hating one another. But when the goodness and loving kindness of God our Savior appeared, He saved us. Not because of works done by us in righteousness, but according to His own mercy, by the washing of regeneration and renewal of the Holy Spirit, whom He poured out on us richly through Jesus Christ our Savior. So that being justified by His grace we might become heirs according to the hope of eternal life. 

Titus 3:3-7

UPDATE ON LIFE

Hey friends. Sorry I've been kind of MIA here lately but my life has been so hectic here lately, although I'm loving every minute of it. I just wanted to make a post to show all of you what I've actually been up to. The last two weeks, I've been at the ranch for orientation with the entire staff of the JH Ranch. It was so amazing to be there and really just enjoy the community of believers that the Lord has blessed me with in this season of my life. In the last two weeks, the Lord has been so gracious to absolutely rock my world. He has reminded me of passions, dreams and prophetic words that He brought into my life years ago. In the busyness of my life, I have to admit that I had forgotten some of them and I've truly been not living in some of the things that I was created to do...but I'm just so excited now about what the Lord has been speaking to me and showing me. I've been at the lodge for 5 days now and I've already learned so much. The Lord has truly been reminding me of His faithful while I've been here. He is so good to me, I don't have time to go all into it but to sum it up...coming to the ranch or the lodge this summer was not what I had planned. The last couple couple of months I've been looking for the "perfect" job, or so I thought anyways. I thought that I wanted the corporate job, making good money and living in a huge city with a new start and community. That's what my life has somewhat consisted the last couple of months. While in the midst of all of this perfect job searching, I was presented with the opportunity to work at one of my favorite places in the entire world; but at the time that is not what "I" wanted. After closed door to closed door, I majorly starting seeking the Lord about what He wanted and He wasted no time in telling me that He wanted me here for the summer. So here I am....& still completely in awe. Everyday I wake up and look out my front porch to the view I have and then go to work (which doesn't feel like work at all) and I just can't help but thank God for where He has brought me. I just can't believe that this is my life. He is too good to me. So here I am and I just want to share it with you. Hope you enjoy. 

The view from my front porch

 The front of our treehouse

Hike to the Cross

 Beautiful Friends

 The Farmstead at Scott River Lodge

 Lettuce from The Farmstead

 Collecting the eggs at the end of the day

 The beautiful SRL girls. 

 We love our life. 

 Today we jumped off this bridge. (50 feet)

 Our dinner tonight. Homemade pizza. 

 Hope you enjoy my pictures. I'll be posting more soon since I'll have more time in the next coming weeks. And again, I love packages and letters.

If you want to mail me a letter or package by USPS: 

Bethany Jones

JH Ranch Staff

8525 Homestead Lane

Etna, CA 96027 

If you want to mail me a package (fedex/UPS only):

Bethany Jones

19432 Scott River Road

Fort Jones, CA 96032

WAITING

Hey friends, I know that it has been a while since I've posted but I'll explain why in my next post...with pictures to come. I've had something stirring in my heart for a couple of days now and I got a minute to share, so I thought I would. Enjoy.

I love epiphanies. I love uncovering an idea or thought from the Lord and finally being able to understand what it is that is going on; but unfortunately, today is not that day. In the past, I have found myself living for these moments. As an American, I've never had to wait too long for anything. Well that is, for something that didn't involve the Lord, but when the Lord is involved, there is usually waiting to be done. And in the last couple of months, I'm actually beginning to appreciate the waiting.

Today I am thankful that my Heavenly Father is patient and slow (for lack of a better word). He is and has been asking me to slow down, and I'm actually getting the chance to do it...and surprisingly enjoy it. Take a breath. Breathe. Stop. And listen. Not only is He asking me to listen, but to listen even if nothing comes of it. And what a step of faith and risk that is. But all the risk and fear fades away when i'm in my Father's presence. When I lock eyes with Him and my gaze is entangled with His, the test of faith, risk and sacrifice is all worth it. Regardless if he speaks some deep prophetic word or answer that I've been waiting for or not, He is still enough for me. I read Psalms 112 a couple of weeks ago and it reminded me that I (the righteous one) will not be moved! And oh, how I have been clinging to that promise.

He took me to 2 Peter today and reminded me that it is so important to be reminded. As I write this, it al begins to come together. In chapter 3 verse 9, He says "The Lord is not slow to fulfill His promise as some count slowness, but is patient toward you, not wishing that any should perish but that all should reach repentance." So in the end, it's all for His childrens' benefit that He is what we see as "slow". He is slow to to anger and abounding in love. Praise God! Maybe I don't have my life completely figured our and maybe you don't either; if you're following Him, you probably don't because He likes to stay a step ahead of you and bless you with unexpected things. Maybe you're questioning the job He has you in, the church He has you at, the singleness that He has you walking through or even the place that you seem to think you're "stuck in". These are all seasons that you will probably go through once or more in your life and maybe along with me, you don't fully understand the season you're in. But I am beginning to, each and every day and literally could NOT think of a better place that I would rather be..but Praise God that He is patient while I'm uncovering the life story that He is writing for me. 

At the end of the day, it's not about you or me. And when you get to the place of being okay with that, then you're in thee exact place He wants you, where He can take all the time He ants . He is the author of time. After all of the thinking, praying and asking in my times with Him, and just almost dying for an epiphany..He sort of gave me one. So I encourage you love of God, to continue to seek Him. Recognize that in the silence He is doing His greatest work. He truly does love you and only wants the best for your life. He longs for you and loves to love you. Just wait on Him. 

YOUR IDENTITY.

Hey friends. Sorry it’s been so long since my last post but in that time, I’ve packed for my 3 month move, hung out with all the people that I would miss so dearly and traveled 3,000 across the United States. Now I’m in Redding, visiting some friends that go to Bethel School of Ministry. It’s been an amazing week with Shari and Lilly, just enjoying each of my sisters in Christ and being free in who we are. We've laughed and just relaxed and enjoyed the Father this week, while enjoying each other as well. It has been so great to just make some fun memories with these sweet friends of mine; from biking to breakfast, to eating mountain house on the side of the road in the sketchiest town in American, to going to a rodeo, to eating 18 of the 24 hours in a day. We have definitely made some great memories, but we are all so excited about what happens tomorrow. We leave tomorrow to drive to the ranch & we start our amazing adventure this summer. But besides that, I just wanted to make a quick post about something that has truly been on my heart and mind the last couple of days, I hope it encourages and challenges you as much as it has me.

The word that has been ringing in my ear the last couple of days…identity. Who are you? Whose are you? From the world’s view, we might be gorgeous on the outside, we might have beautiful teeth, a great tan an awesome personality or even a hot boyfriend. But I come to you with encouragement today, that is NOT who you are. You are not meant to live OF this world, only IN this world…which frees you from the lies of believing that you have to look like the girl on the cover of People magazine or you have to have the “American Dream” by the age of 25. Your identity is not in things or people, but only in Christ. This thought has been ringing in my head for the last couple of days and the Lord has been so gracious to reveal to me so much about MY identity in HIM. Complete freedom comes when we live so deeply in Him and his grace, that we could care less about what the world says and views us as. That we are so in love with him, that we see Him as our greatest romance, our greatest adventure and our greatest achievement.

I heard a podcast last week that challenged me so much. The speaker was talking about identity and who people say he is, compared to who God says He is. He explained that while its all good and well to hear encouragement, prophetic words and good things said to and about you, you shouldn’t live for them. Anything that people say that would be uplifting/encouraging to you or your spirit is great, but the Lord has already set in stone who you are and what you are called to me... and if its His truth, the He will tell you in due time. He gave an example of a woman that prophesied over him that he was going to be like Moses and lead people into unforeseen places. He said that he received the word but it didn’t change a thing about he viewed himself or felt about himself because he was already 100% sure of what God had told him he was. He wasn’t saying that the prophetic word was wrong he was merely just saying that the Lord had already told him what and who he was in His eyes and that is all that mattered. This challenged me so much because like every other human, I like to hear words of affirmation, encouragement and good things said to and about me…but they are not who I am, because they are said to me by humans and not said to me by my heavenly Father. I am encouraged and encourage you to live in and only in Christ says you are. This is the only way to live because if we survive and love the words of people, we will live out of emotion and their words (and humans love conditionally) unlike the father who loves UN-conditionally. This is all to say that if you live in the identity of who people on this earth say you are, you will live a life like a roller-coaster. Happy and feeling good about yourself on the days that you hear encourage and “good things” said about you and sad/depressed/unfulfilled on the days that no one has anything to say to you or about you. And that life is dreary, unfulfilling and not worth your time. If you wake up every morning believing all the promises of who HE says you are, you don’t have to worry about what kind of day or life you will have because He already delights in you. You don’t have to worry about what encouragement or great identity revelation you will hear that day from someone, because He has already told you WHO you are and WHOSE you are.

You are a child of God. (John 1:12) You are a branch of the TRUE vine. (John 15:1) You are justified and redeemed. (Romans 3:24) You are no longer your old self or a slave to sin. (Romans 6:6) You are a new creation. (2 Corinthians 5:17) You are free. (Galatians 5:1) You are chosen. (Ephesians 1:4) You will produce good works. (Epesians 2:10) You are bold and confident. (Ephesians 3:12) You are complete. (Colossians 2:10) You are chosen. (1 Thessalonians 1:4) You are HIS.

So I encourage you and myself as I type this, ask the Lord what He thinks about you and what He says about you because I know it'll be better than anything that anyone on this earth has to say. And it will be truth and will ring in the heavens for all of eternity. You are His beloved and He delights in you and you being fulfilled, but that can only happen in Him. But be encouraged today, if you do not who you are in Christ, just ask. He will be faithful to tell you and patient in the time that it takes you to truly be convinced that is who you are. You might not have known this life and truth before but iI have to tell you it will be the most freeing journey you will ever take with Him. I will tell you that you might wake up some days and not believe all that He says about you but just keep yourself open because He will keep telling you until you hear it, believe it and walk in it. If you live through the words of others you will live in defeat and un-fullfillment, but you are not defeated. If you are beaten by the words of others but you acquire wisdom and learn, you have won. I encourage you to improve yourself daily, but only by the words that Christ speaks to and over you. Only when we shed all self-definitely do we find who we really are in Him. Be blessed.